"I am learning to run in the right direction."

MEET DANI: here are her wise words of being pursued by God in the disappointment.

Disappointment: the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations.

A synonym of disappointment is disillusionment. Disillusionment is a feeling of disappointment resulting from the discovery that something is not as good as one believed it to be.

Another synonym is disenchantment. Disenchantment is a feeling of disappointment about someone or something you previously respected or admired.

Disappointment will screw you up.

For the sake of visualizing, let’s put the name John in this, and walk down a common path of disappointment I think we all can relate too.

So first off, John lets you down. You had an expectation of him, and he did not meet it. You are disappointed in John. He didn’t act the way you thought he would (or wanted him too).

At this point you have a decision to make that will guide you 1 of 2 ways.

A. You process your disappointment in a healthy way and move on from it. (this is the best path.)

B.  You don’t process your disappointment in a healthy way and you continue on the path of disappointment and make your way to…

Disillusionment.

So now you are feeling REALLY disappointed, to the point that you don’t think John is who he says he is. In fact, you don’t even think he’s that good of a person. You’re starting to second-guess your relationship with him altogether. Before you know it, that disillusionment leads you to feeling completely …

Disenchanted.

You are so overwhelmed with disappointment about John that you don’t even respect him anymore, let alone like him. And you DEFINITELY don’t want to be around him. You begin to disconnect.

In case you aren’t picking up what I’m putting down, John is God. I think John is God for a lot of us.

Including me. I’ll be the first to raise my hand and admit it. God has disappointed me.

And not just God.

I have been disappointed by:
My Friends.
My Church.
My Husband.
My Family.
My Pastor
… the list goes on an on.

But here’s the scary part of disappointment … the common denominator is ME.

Disappointment of any kind is rooted in this one phrase … “it didn’t go MY way.”

I had a plan and it didn’t happen.
I had an expectation and that person didn’t meet it.
I was hoping for this or that and it never came to be.
I had a timeline in mind and it’s not happening when I thought it would.

I, I, I. Me, Me, Me.

Most of the time it’s rooted in pride and a desire for control.

Some times though, it’s a legit let down. Unexpected and heartbreaking. Sometimes people really do just LET US DOWN. However … the ball is still in our court.

EITHER WAY - I have a choice to make. Either way the path of disappointment is still real and looming.  Either way – the questions I must ask are:

Am I okay with letting it be God’s way? 
Am I okay with not being in control of this situation or this person?
Am I okay with God’s timing?
Am I okay with the fact that this might be God’s best?
Do I really trust God’s sovereignty or do I just say I do because that is what I am supposed to say?

and last but not least ... Am I just being a brat?

This is the place God is pursuing me.

He’s pursuing me in the very disappointment I feel towards Him. He’s pursuing me in the disappointment I feel towards other people. He’s pursuing me in my doubt. He’s pursuing me in the areas of my life that God is shining a light on my life and He’s like … “really?! Dani … come on … where’s the depth?”

The devil will tell you it’s your Pastor’s fault. He will tell you it’s your spouse’s fault. He will tell you it’s the church’s fault. It’s your dad’s fault, it’s your best friend’s fault. He will tell you it’s this, that or the other.

But he will NEVER once have you look at yourself in the mirror to analyze what is going on in the depths of your own heart. The devil doesn’t want me to get over this. He wants me to stay in my disillusionment and disenchantment long enough that I get so hard and cold towards the things that are important for my spiritual journey that I run away from it all.  That I run away from the purpose for my life. From the plans God has for me. From my friends. From my spouse. From my church.

The devil will get you to run.

And so in the midst of my complete lack of control, disappointment, and trying to figure out how to navigate this fire of purification I am engulfed in …

I am learning to run in the right direction.

I am learning to run into the arms of the One who is standing in the fire with me.

more from Dani on her blog: https://www.likegold.net/