Put the pen down

PC: Stephanie Nachtrab

Welcome to a snippet of my life with the Lord. 

I’m constantly in the process of writing a novel. I need to put the pen down, I need to be done with it. 

When I’m driving and something happens where I’m in the wrong I wish with everything in me that I could just explain to the person why I did what I did. I deeply wish I could defend myself and my mistake.

Why. Why do I think I need to always defend myself.

And its in more things than just driving. I think I need to defend every action. I think I need to defend every word I say.  I think I always have to explain myself and my actions. Instead of a simple, “I’m sorry” or “you’re right” I add on a book to justify my doing.

Why. 

Taking it even deeper. I think I need to prove myself. I think I have to defend who I am. I think I have to validate myself to everyone. Instead of humbling myself I write my defense book.

It’s okay to be messy. It’s okay to be wrong. It’s okay to make a mistake.

He is my defense. He reads me a much better book who He says He is and who He says I am. In our quiet moments together He speaks so much truth. 

But I can’t hear Him if I’m always reading my book of defenses over His voice.

How much could I hear from the Lord if I would just stop proving my case. If I would just listen.

It’s starts with the humbling moment you have alone. It starts in the small. Watch what He’ll speak to you. What He’ll do through you. He’ll open your heart and correct your thoughts. 

Picture this. I was resting on the Lords chest, my ear right up to His heart and I could hear His heart beat so perfectly. But once I began to speak, my voice was louder than His heart beat. My voice echoed throughout my whole head. And left me with my own words and none of His.

“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”

James 1:19 NLT